Wanna be awesome? Let's do it!
So, this is kind of an odd story, but one I feel is worth telling. Today, I got my cavities filled in, and so for the first time, I requested laughing gas. I haven’t had laughing gas in years, mainly because I am really wound up and like having complete control over my life. However, I did it because I was anxious about a needle being stuck in me. As I laid there, and allowed the drug to calm me, I realized how nice it was. Not because it was a drug (I believe drug use is bad and I am not implying it’s good), but because I didn’t have any stress. I didn’t fear anything, neither did I doubt every decision I made in my life.
I went home, and I became sad, I realized that soon the stress was going to come back. I was going to start feeling sad again, and I realized then, that I quite frankly was tired of it. I am so sick of battling my depression I’ve had for years. I am so sick of being anxious, and seeing the world I see it. It’s silly really, having all these self esteem problems. So you know what I am going to do? I am going to change.
First I am going to buy new clothes. It’s been a dream of mine to wear cool clothing. Things like vests, and suits. So, this Friday I am going to go shopping, and then will continue until I feel satisfied. I’ll be like Arthur from Inception, looking pimp in his suit. Then I’m going to take a step further to making the world a cooler place.
Fuck Yeah!
For the next step, I am going to get a few things off my chest. A few things I feel afraid to say, but just don’t want to anymore:
-I love my artwork and beleive I am a brilliant storyteller. The images and ideas I have in my brain are images I think an audience would love to see. I am so talented, and am 100% certain I can make it in any business. I don’t know why I let other people pull me down when I know my own creativity.
-Vacant, even though a risky comic, is very intelligent, different, and likable. All the characters are well rounded and deep. I’ve improved dramatically in my writting skills and have taught other people what I know. I don’t care if people like Vacant. I’ll be fine if I just maybe 20 fans.
-I am a huge Jhonen fan. I’ve felt insecure about this for years, and you know what? I don’t care. To all the teachers who talked shit about this man, I want to tell you you’re wrong. You guys are nice people but don’t judge me on the artists I like. Jhonen is probably one of the few professionals that take my artwork seriously. Thank you, Jhonen. Thank you for being an awesome dude and drawing whatever you wanted. You rock, and don’t ever think you’re stuff is shit because it’s not.
-I want to tell all the people that ignored me that it hurts. It hurts when you ask me to e-mail you and then you don’t respond. I know you’re busy, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling bad. I just want to make a few friends, but I always feel like when people ignore me that I am pathetic. It makes me feel like I am not taken seriously.
-Last, I love all of my friends and they love me. I don’t need anyone. I have myself, and you won’t make the world awesome, I will.
So are you, reader, with me? Do you want to make the world awesome too? Then let’s do it. Go out, buy a vest, and change the world. You don’t have to let your insecurities hold you down. You’re free if you want to be. If you do choose to make the world awesome, send me the story. Take photos of yourself in the outfit you’ve always wanted to wear and remember that you’re the coolest person in the world.
